Practicing Consistent Positive Direction with Autism

Practicing Consistent Positive Direction

J. Bert Freeman's book, Taking Charge of Your Positive Direction, has given me great insights into communicating with Aiden in more positive ways. Basically, instead of saying something like, “No, don't do that,” I focus on what I want him to do; where I want him to go.  Here are some examples:

Instead of saying:	A Consistent Positive Direction statement:
“Aiden, don't grab my shirt.”	“Aiden, where do your hands belong?” “Is this a muscle memory or a personal space issue?”
“No, we don't have goldfish to eat.”	“That's a great question! Let's ask your mother when she gets home.” “As soon as we finish your lesson, we can go to the kitchen and see what's available for you to eat.” If he persists on the goldfish; Aiden, “What do we have to do before we can eat?” “Would you like to have a tic- tac right now?”
When Aiden begins to walk purposefully toward me, I say,” Don't come any closer.”	“Remember my personal space.” “Do you need to have any pressure on your hands or arms right now?”
“You didn't take your plate to the sink,” or “You forgot to take your plate to the sink.”	“Aiden, where does your plate need to go?” “What we do with our plate when we’re through eating?”
“You're hitting me makes me uncomfortable.”	“Thank you for letting me know you're feeling anxious and uncomfortable.  Let's see if we can figure out how to make you feel less anxious.”  “Let me help you find some other things you can do with your hands when you're feeling anxious.”

This approach to communication has improved my relationship with Aiden. If you can think of other statements you know would work, I’d love for you to share them with me.