Muscle Memory or Personal Space?

         

            When Aiden and I use RPM for teaching a subject, he often reaches out and grabs the hem of the smock I wear while working with him. Sometimes, it’s a gentle motion; other times, it’s more aggressive. He and I began talking about it one day after I had a conversation with Soma about it.  She explained his frequent grabbing is like a muscle memory; something he does out of habit.  In order to change it, I have to help him develop a new muscle memory, replacing the old one.

            We also did a social story about personal space; what is it and why is it important to respect someone’s personal space.  He’s usually content to stay in his own space unless I move closer to him.  If we’re together, not doing an RPM lesson and he grabs me, I may ask, “Is this a muscle memory or personal space?” He usually answers with one or the other.  If it’s ‘personal space’, I ask him, “Where do your hands belong?”  If his anxiety level is low, he may answer with, “In my lap.”  My response might be, “thank you for using your words to tell me. Show me.”  At that point, he’ll remove his hand.

            When we’re doing a lesson, I’m standing behind him. When he reaches out to grab me, I’ll ask what it is, ‘personal space’ or ‘muscle memory?’  When he answers, “muscle memory,” I may start singing a song about muscle memory and clapping my hands or snapping my fingers.

“Can you clap your hands as well, Aiden?”  If he does, we’ll have some fun enjoying the silliness of the moment. If he doesn’t, I stop and continue with the lesson.

            What have you found works for helping someone develop a new muscle memory for grabbing?  I’d love to get your feedback and comments.